you're going to Aussie then!
Listen, this is gonna be a
hoot, a good fucking hoot! It could go wrong in so many ways that Im
just too tempted! You know every damn arsehole punk is gonna go
Ooh thats not what punk is about Yes it is! This
is true anarchy! Setting myself up on rubbish like this? By doing a thing
like this wrong, thats so fucking dangerous, I could so easily fall
flat on my face. With all this so called 'celebrity' nonsense there is
a danger you can take yourself too seriously. And that's the whole point,
I'm not a celebrity, I'm just a human being... Last year to me looked
fake, this time its for real. Ive called the shots, this is
gonna be a good un. They can give it, but can they take it? Ill
take on all contenders, but Im up for a laugh, and if anyone else
isnt thats their problem. Whats two week's in a bush,
fuck off, its a holiday!
My money is on you! What
do you win?
Well, you win a load of money which you send off to a charity, so
Rambo found this great one for me. Its a wspa [World
Society for the Protection of Animals], save these little white monkeys
that are being tortured and killed in Africa. Its lovely, cos
every housewife is gonna go Oh that poor boy is saving those little
monkeys! (laughs) I might get a nature programme out of it! (laughs)
Yeah, Johnny Rotten
& Johnny Morris!
Thats how Ill go
for it! Its how you approach it. You look at it on paper and you
think Oh no, next Ill be on Celebrity Squares!
(laughs), but why not though? The only rules in this life, are there are
no rules, and quite a few idiots have forgot that. No one wants me to
do it, so all the more reason to be there. All my life I've been told
not to do things, and when someone tells me not to do a thing, I have
to question why? Why shouldn't I, why? Why push your values on
Do you know much about the other contestants?
Theres a Lord in there with convictions as long as your arm
(laughs), and the BBC's Royalty reporter! Its perfect, sit around
the campfire and discuss Royalty with Royalty! (laughs) Gazza wouldnt
do it, but I think thats because hes scared of me. You can
print that! (laughs). That dopey bird Jordan, she can be really low rent,
but she used to be the pin-up girl for Eddie Jordan at Formula 1. George
Bests wife is gonna be on, I've got a connection there, I wanted
her to thank her husband for giving my Mum an autograph years ago before
she died, it was one of her wishes, thats very sweet. There was
some guy from Boyzone who was gonna do it, he'd asked to bring his acoustic
guitar along! (laughs) He wanted to write songs around the campfire at
night! That would have been spectacular fun for me!
You should take a banjo!
Oh nooo! My Violin or something neeeeerrrrrrrr! I could sing
that old Edgar Broughton song (sings) I love the dead before
their cold, their glowing flesh for me to hold... (laughs).
Itll give you good exposure to people who have never saw you
on TV before, a whole new audience.
Listen, Im just gonna be exactly who I always am, but I am up for
that cos people have got me down as some anti-social whatever, and
its gonna be like NOOO... big surprise! I dont think anyone
in the world is thinking Im going out there just for the monkeys!
Unless Im a cheeky monkey too. Its a giggle, and look, I need
to get Rotten TV back up, remind these cunts that there are people out
there who can make a decent TV show.
Are you looking forward to the being in the Jungle! I saw on TV that
some guy got ate by a crocodile at one of those watering holes!
Yeah, Salt Water Crocodiles theyre particularly dangerous, but
I dont wash! Whats the problem? Im not going near that
duck pond, Im as safe as houses me! I wont move for two weeks,
I dont need food! No effort... Itll be like that daft film
Crocodile Dundee, thats the landscape. Wait, its
just gonna be horrible, but why not? Dont let the Bed Bugs bite,
well, theyre gonna anyway. I might have an itchy bum, but that doesnt
mean I cant have fun! They said you can have one luxury item, so
I said Yes ok, I want a fully equipped Wall-Mart store!
They sell guns and everything (laughs)!
It seems the producers are trying to be all cloak and dagger
about it, apparently they wanted to fly you all out separately.
Look, what a load of rubbish, with all the names blasted out in The Sun!
Are they joking me, whats the big secret? Its a lie, and Im
gonna expose every single fucking lie, because I will not sit there and
propagate a fake. And I warned them that, I said if this is not the real
dangerous deal, its gonna be known, so now theyre getting
in SAS blokes to train us in survival! (laughs) Ill have the time
of my life! They said, Have you any survival skills? No none at
all! Are you fit? Certainly not! And I have no intention of
Youre gonna be such a bolt out the blue, itll just show
up the celebs for the absorbed fools they are!
Ill just be myself... as daft as a sack of potatoes! They show themselves
up. They play the same Dinner Party nonsense, but in the jungle! And thats
why they dont have survival skills, its inner strength
isnt it? Oh lets have a camp leader. Youve
got to follow the camp rules, fuck off, I follow common sense dear
At least there will be something good on TV! Its gonna be too
It is if you approach it right. Its gonna be delicious, absolutely!
So when does it actually start then?
In the middle of January. They want to come over and film me beforehand,
in a home setting so I think what Im gonna do is have
them in my studio and play them one of my new songs! (Note: John &
John were later spotted falling down a hill in front of the famous Hollywood
So when is the official announcement?
Well, its yours if you want it!
Right, John good luck, I might even vote for you!
Vote for the man you love to hate, make him suffer! Oh, no... if you throw
me out youre cruel! Im doing it for the little monkeys. Save
the little monkeys, the furry white ones... !